Q&A6 Your Questions About the Mind-First Approach

Q&A6 Your Questions About the Mind-First Approach

Episode Length: 11 minutes | Follow-up to "Why Most People Get It Wrong"

Welcome to Q&A Wednesday!

The response to Monday's episode about why most people get weight loss wrong has been huge. My inbox is packed with questions, and I can tell this hit home for a lot of you.

The biggest theme? People saying, "Okay, I get it - I need to focus on my mind first. But HOW do I actually do that?"

So today I'm answering your most pressing questions about making this approach work in real life. These are the practical, nitty-gritty questions that will help you implement what we talked about on Monday.

Let's go!

Question 1

"I understand I should focus on triggers instead of calories, but I have no idea what my triggers actually are. How do I figure this out?"

This is such a great starting point question! Most people have been eating unconsciously for so long that they genuinely don't know what's driving their eating patterns.

Here's the simplest way to start identifying your triggers: Keep a feelings journal, not a food journal.

For one week, every time you eat - and I mean every single time - write down three things: What time is it? How hungry am I on a scale of 1-10? And what am I feeling right now?

Don't worry about what you're eating or how much. Just focus on the when, the hunger level, and the emotion.

After a week, you'll start seeing patterns. "Oh, I always eat when I'm not hungry at 3 PM, and I'm usually feeling overwhelmed with work." "I notice I eat at 9 PM when I'm not hungry, and I'm feeling lonely or bored."

The patterns will jump out at you. Most people have 2-3 main triggers that drive 80% of their emotional eating. Once you identify them, you can start addressing them directly.

Question 2

"When I try to sit with a craving without eating, it feels impossible. The urge is so strong I can't think about anything else. What am I doing wrong?"

You're not doing anything wrong! This is completely normal, and it means you're actually doing the work.

Here's what's happening: You've trained your brain for years, maybe decades, to immediately respond to cravings with food. Your brain is literally wired to go from "I want something" to "I eat something" without any pause.

When you try to create that pause, your brain panics. It's like, "Wait, this isn't how we do things! We always eat when we feel this way!"

Start smaller. Don't try to sit with the craving for an hour. Start with literally 60 seconds. Set a timer. Tell yourself, "I can eat this in 60 seconds if I still want to."

Most of the time, you'll realize the intensity decreases even in that minute. Then you can try 2 minutes, then 5 minutes.

Also, give yourself something to DO during that time. Don't just sit there white-knuckling it. Take three deep breaths, go brush your teeth, text a friend, do jumping jacks. Redirect that energy.

Remember, you're literally rewiring your brain. Be patient with the process.

Question 3

"I keep telling myself I'm someone who can trust themselves around food, but I don't believe it. How do I actually change these deep beliefs about myself?"

Oh, this is the million-dollar question! You can't just think your way into new beliefs. Beliefs are built through evidence.

You need to start collecting evidence that contradicts your old belief.

If you believe "I can't trust myself around food," start looking for tiny moments when you actually CAN trust yourself. Did you eat one cookie instead of the whole package? That's evidence. Did you stop eating when you were satisfied instead of stuffed? That's evidence.

Keep a "wins journal." Every day, write down one small thing you did that shows you CAN trust yourself around food. Even tiny things count.

"Today I paused before eating and asked if I was hungry." "Today I put the leftovers away instead of finishing them." "Today I chose an apple when I was actually hungry instead of eating from boredom."

Your brain will start noticing these moments more and more. Over time, you'll have a mountain of evidence that contradicts that old belief.

The new belief is built one piece of evidence at a time.

Question 4

"This approach makes sense, but I'm scared that if I stop controlling my food so tightly, I'll just eat everything and gain a ton of weight. How do I get past this fear?"

This fear is so understandable, and honestly, almost everyone feels this when they start shifting away from restriction.

Here's what I want you to understand: The reason you feel out of control around food right now is BECAUSE of all the controlling you've been doing. Restriction creates the binge cycle. The tighter you hold on, the more likely you are to eventually lose control.

But I get it - this feels scary. So let's start with baby steps.

Pick one area where you can loosen control slightly. Maybe it's allowing yourself to eat when you're hungry instead of waiting for "meal time." Maybe it's keeping one formerly "forbidden" food in your house and practicing eating it normally.

Start with the least scary thing and prove to yourself that you can handle a little less control. Then gradually expand from there.

Also, remember that gaining control over your MIND is actually much more powerful than controlling your FOOD. When you can manage your emotions, understand your triggers, and trust your hunger signals, you don't need external food rules anymore.

You're aiming to eat from a place of calm and consciousness.

Question 5

"How long does this mind-first approach take to work? I'm used to seeing results on the scale quickly with diets."

I love this question because it shows you're thinking long-term, which is exactly the right mindset.

Here's the honest timeline: You'll start noticing mental shifts within the first 2-3 weeks. You'll catch yourself pausing before eating, you'll become more aware of your triggers, you'll start questioning your old patterns.

The deeper changes - like truly trusting yourself around food, having cravings without panic, eating intuitively - those typically take 2-6 months to really solidify.

And here's the thing about the scale: it might not move much at first, and that's actually a good sign. It means you're breaking the restriction cycle, which means you're breaking the rebound effect too.

But what you WILL notice is that you think about food less, you have more mental energy, you feel more peaceful around eating, and you start handling stress without automatically turning to food.

Those changes last forever.

Let's wrap it up!

These questions were so good! Here's your key takeaway: Start with awareness, be patient with the process, collect evidence of your progress, and remember that mental shifts come before physical changes.

Keep sending me your questions - I love seeing how you're applying this approach in real life. And remember, you're rewiring decades of patterns. Give yourself grace and time.

You've got this, and I'll see you next week!

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