Q&A9 Your Questions About Ditching "Moderation" Mindset

Your Questions About Ditching "Moderation" Mindset

Welcome to Q&A Wednesday!

Monday's episode about why "everything in moderation" is terrible advice generated more responses than I expected. My inbox filled up fast, and I can tell this hit home for many of you.

The pattern I'm seeing in these messages: relief mixed with fear. Relief because someone finally said what you've been feeling—that moderation advice never worked for you. Fear because if moderation isn't the answer, then what is?

Today I'm answering your most pressing questions about moving beyond the moderation mindset and into something that actually works for your brain.

Let's jump right in!

Question 1

"If I give myself full permission to eat anything like you suggested, won't I just eat everything in sight and gain a ton of weight?"

This fear comes up constantly, and I get it. You've been trying to control your eating for so long that the idea of letting go feels terrifying.

Here's what happens when you give yourself true permission:

You'll likely go through a period I call "testing the waters." Your brain doesn't trust that permission is real, so you might eat more of previously forbidden foods just to prove to yourself that you really can.

This phase is temporary and necessary. Your brain needs to believe that nothing is truly off-limits before it can relax.

Then something shifts: the foods that used to have power over you start losing their appeal. When ice cream isn't forbidden, it's just ice cream. When cookies aren't "bad," they're just cookies.

The catch: this only works if you're also addressing the emotional reasons you were overeating in the first place. Permission without emotional awareness just becomes a different kind of chaos.

You're not trying to eat everything. You're trying to remove the psychological charge from food so you can make choices from a calm place rather than a rebellious or restricted place.

Question 2

"I understand that moderation doesn't work, but I still don't know how much to eat. How do I know when I've had 'enough' without some kind of guideline?"

This question tells me you're ready to move from external rules to internal wisdom.

Your body has built-in signals for "enough"—they're called hunger and satisfaction cues. Most people have been ignoring these signals for so long that they don't trust them anymore.

Here's how to start reconnecting with them:

Before you eat, rate your hunger on a scale of 1-10. One is starving, ten is uncomfortably stuffed. Aim to start eating around a 3 or 4.

While you're eating, check in with yourself halfway through. How does the food taste? Are you still enjoying it? How full are you feeling?

Stop eating when you hit about a 7—satisfied without being stuffed. At first, this might feel like you're not eating "enough," but that's just because you're used to eating past satisfaction.

Practice this with one meal a day to start. Don't try to be perfect with every eating occasion. Just start building awareness of what hunger and satisfaction actually feel like in your body.

Your body knows how much it needs. You just need to start listening to it again.

Question 3

"What about foods that I know trigger binges for me? Shouldn't I moderate those or avoid them completely?"

This is where individual psychology really matters, and it's exactly why generic "moderation" advice fails.

If certain foods consistently trigger binge episodes for you, then yes, it might make sense to avoid them temporarily while you work on the underlying emotional patterns.

The goal isn't permanent avoidance. The goal is to understand WHY these foods trigger you so you can eventually have a normal relationship with them.

Ask yourself: What's happening emotionally when you binge on these foods? Are you restricting them so much that you feel deprived? Are you eating them when you're not hungry? Are they connected to specific emotions or situations?

Sometimes the trigger isn't the food itself—it's the restriction around the food. Sometimes it's the emotional state you're in when you eat the food.

Work with a professional if you need to, but don't accept that you'll never be able to have a normal relationship with certain foods. That's just another form of restriction thinking.

You're aiming for food freedom—being able to choose any food from a place of consciousness, not compulsion.

Question 4

"My family keeps telling me I need to 'eat in moderation' and that I'm overthinking food. How do I handle people who don't understand this approach?"

This comes up all the time and it's frustrating! People who've never struggled with emotional eating often can't understand why "just eat in moderation" doesn't work.

Here's the thing: you don't need to convince them. You don't need their permission to approach food differently. And you definitely don't need to justify why their advice doesn't work for you.

You can say something like: "I appreciate your concern, but I'm working with an approach that addresses the psychology behind my eating patterns, not just the food itself."

Or simply: "I'm learning to trust my body's signals rather than following external rules."

People who give "moderation" advice usually mean well, but they're often people who don't have complicated relationships with food. It's like someone who's never had anxiety telling someone with anxiety to "just relax."

Stay focused on what's working for you. As you develop a healthier relationship with food, the results will speak for themselves.

And if people in your life can't support your journey toward food freedom, that says more about them than it does about you.

Question 5

"This approach sounds great in theory, but I'm scared I don't have enough self-awareness to know what I actually need. What if I can't tell the difference between hunger and emotions?"

This fear makes sense, and honestly, most people can't tell the difference at first. That's completely normal after years of disconnection from your body's signals.

The good news? Self-awareness is a skill you can develop. You don't need to have it perfectly before you start.

Begin with the simplest distinction: "Am I physically hungry right now, or am I feeling something else?"

If you're not sure, that's okay. Just notice the uncertainty. "I'm not sure if I'm hungry or if I'm bored." That awareness itself is progress.

Keep a simple log for a week. Before you eat, write down: "Physical hunger or emotional hunger?" Don't judge your answers, just start noticing patterns.

You'll be surprised how quickly you start recognizing the difference between your stomach asking for food and your mind asking for comfort, distraction, or connection.

Trust the process. Your self-awareness will grow with practice.

These questions were incredible! You're ready to move beyond generic advice and into something that actually works with your psychology, not against it.

Keep sending me your questions—I love seeing how you're applying this approach in real life. And remember, ditching the moderation mindset focuses on eating consciously.

You've got this, and I'll see you next week!